The success of any event or program in life depends to a very large extent on the level of preparedness. Before we embark on any worthwhile activity we usually spend a lot of time getting ready.
The same goes for marriage. Intending couples should be able to know what marriage entails and this knowledge will help them to be forearmed. People get married to non siblings and so, a lot of differences in way of life, reasoning, attitudes, likes and dislikes etc. should be expected. There's even no guarantee that siblings will live harmoniously together. We have witnessed frictions, malice and even hatred among siblings.
It has been said that marriage should be best seen as the integration of two histories instead of two people. Nothing can be short of this truth. If intending or married couples bear this in mind they will be more tolerant and understanding of their spouses.
When Chisom newly got married their preferences for their local soups were very different. Chisom came from a family that loves Egusi soup almost to the exclusion of others, while Emeka came from a background that adores Onugbu soup. Chisom, found it difficult to cook delicious Onugbu soups to Emeka's liking and whenever she insists on cooking the Egusi she knows how to cook perfectly, the husband was not happy. After some months into their marriage, she noticed that the soup issue was about causing subtle division between them. She went ahead and asked her husband's sister to teach her how to cook the Onugbu soup to his liking. Within some weeks, she was able to cook the soup to Emeka's taste. Recalling the incident she noted that her willingness to learn from his sister really made a deep impression on him. Now, after some years, he started enjoying eating Egusi soup with her while she also enjoys his Onugbu soup!
In marriage each partner should bear in mind that they are coming together with each carrying their own different background, experiences, hurts, pains, joys, beliefs, mindsets and so on, all bundled up in that cute lady or handsome guy you married. Remember, how old you and your spouse are represent the number of years you both have been living with your histories and dispositions. Therefore, you might have lived 25 or 30 years of your life in certain ways and so it is with your spouse. You don't honestly expect them to change to your liking overnight. Old habits, they say, die hard. You need to be realistic.
Marriage therefore, is a coming together of two cultures, beliefs, morals, values, attitudes and even spiritual dispositions. So, the important mindset should be; what you marrying and not who you are marrying. When you agree to marry a person, you decide to consciously and loving accommodate them and their history while working towards helping them to be better. Because, according to the Code of Canon Law, canon 1055,par.1, "the matrimonial covenant, by which a man and woman establish between themselves a partnership for the whole of life, is by its nature ordered towards the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring".
During the Christian Marriage Rites, both receive the grace to overcome their differences and live in peace and harmony even with their diversities. The Word of God assures us in 1Cor 12:9. "my grace is sufficient for you", because its the Word of God that is infallible you need to believe it just as it is. If you are gifted an iPhone and you never made use of it, how can you claim its not working? Many Christians fail to seek God's direction on how to approach their differences in marriage. Our Lord affirms that when we seek, wee shall find Matt7:7. So, go ahead and seek how to overcome your differences and you shall find ways, Alleluia!
No comments:
Post a Comment